there is no better tragedy than "the social network"
no better love story, either.
There is no tragedy like losing friends. Summer becomes long and lonely, and your mother is the only person who calls your name. It’s a little bit like having someone tear out your bones, split them open, and scrape out all the marrow inside. Like losing a part of yourself, because as I’ve come to learn, you are the people you know. They make up who you are, and in knowing them, you can build yourself up.
In The Social Network, Mark becomes known by everyone on Harvard’s campus and eventually, around the world, and in the process, becomes lost to the person who loves him most: Eduardo. To want to be loved so badly that you are blind to the people who already love you. People desperate to hold onto you, but you’ve got your head turned so you think their hands aren’t on your back. Sean is one of the biggest steps in this, because as Mark gets to know him, Eduardo slips away. Sean is a driving force between the two best friends because he feeds into Mark’s ego and tells Mark what he wants to hear, whereas Eduardo grounds Mark, brings him back down to earth. So Mark picks Sean.
This betrayal begs the question: is the love I have to give not good enough? When is it going to be enough? It reminds me of the line from a Richard Siken poem: “‘cause I couldn’t make you love me and I’m tired of pulling your teeth.”
When Eduardo freezes the account with $18000 in it, he does it as an act of attention. Because having Mark’s attention is to have Mark’s love - at least in Eduardo’s eyes. It backfires because Mark takes it as an act of betrayal. There is another instance of this: Eduardo believing that Mark told his lawyers about the Crimson article, and the forced cannibalism, when, in fact, Mark defended him. A belief of betrayal, when really, that’s not what it is at all.
I think that The Social Network, when you really think about it, is about simple things. Creation, invention, fame, friends, love, losing, betrayal. It’s not really about Facebook, which is probably why I love it so much. Losing friends seems to be one of the worst tragedies. Movies like The Banshees of Inisherin cut so deep because of all the love that existed, and no matter what we do, we can’t fix it. In Banshees, the movie ends with both men without the things that they abandoned each other for. Colm, who wanted his music to flourish so he could be remembered, no longer has fingers to play his fiddle. In The Social Network, Mark is rich, successful, known by all, loved by many, but he is without the person who loved him most, before he was all the other things. Andrew Garfield - who treats The Social Network as a love story - talks about how Eduardo, during the depositions, just wants Mark to look at him and apologize and give him what he wants and move in with him and just be friends again. All through it, they never hate each other.
The thing they’ve created together has destroyed them, but still, so much love exists.
I think a lot about the friendships I’ve had, and what they could’ve been if I could have just been a little bit better. If I was a better version of who I am. Less childish, more mature, more something, anything, to stop it from getting to the point it did. To know better. And the love lingers still. My best friend from seventh grade doesn’t talk to me anymore, but sometimes I see her mom drive by our street, or I’ll think I see her in the groups of teenagers at the pool or the mall, or I just think about her sometimes and what went wrong.
All the friendships, all the loves, that were ripe and possessive and everything, and everything right at the right time, but the people involved acted all wrong, and the whole thing imploded. Maybe we could have been better to each other. Maybe I could have been better to my friend in seventh grade and maybe she’d still be around.
The full quote is this: “I think at one point, I made him [Jesse Eisenberg as Mark] say: ‘I love you, you’re my best friend. Come, and we’ll get married, and we’ll live in a house together.’ Just to give me that right reaction for the end of this scene. He really generously embarrassingly, told me how much he adored me, and it was just really nice. For this last bit.” When Andrew Garfield talks about this during the commentary, the scene playing is the scene when Mark calls Eduardo to come back to California, and to shout about the frozen account. On the other end, Eduardo is putting out the flames on his bed. Although Andrew might just have had Jesse say this to get him into the mood for the scene, it seems like he truly believes that if Mark could admit to having some kind of love for Eduardo, everything would be okay. Even when Mark says that he needs Eduardo, it’s about the algorithm, and not about what emotional support Eduardo can offer.
What I’m trying to say is this: The Social Network is so tragic because despite all the knives in backs, and all the pain, the love still exists and it is so deep, and it cannot be erased. And perhaps, with an admittance of love, can all these things be fixed.
In the moments right before fuck you flip flops, Eduardo stares at Mark, who is all alone. In his company, this grand thing he’s created, he is the odd man out. It is Eduardo who stands by him, all throughout it. It is Eduardo who meets him after his hearing with the schoolboard about his site that crashed the school’s network; Eduardo practically begging Mark to allow him to help with the cease and desist letter. He is the only one to back Mark up.
My thoughts are become all rambling and bullshit, so I won’t say anything more. The Social Network, along with all the other things, is about desire. For being noticed, for being loved, and also for another person. And that’s the worst part of it all, if you ask me. The Social Network is this: you could kill me, and I’d still spend my last breath telling you I love you.
I’ve already written about The Social Network, but that was my own personal connection to it. You can find it here.
Hello! This is the first publication since changing out my pen name for my real name. I don’t yet want to release my real last name online yet, hence the name change from The Life and Films of August Tate to Shot It All In CinemaScope. However, this may be subject to change in the coming months. Thank you all for sticking by me and supporting me. The URL will continue to be filmsofaugust.substack.com.
the social network is my favorite movie of all time and i've always talked about it in a joking way - but still, i talked about it so much that i think anyone who knows me, really knows me, would know that i have some sort of an attachment going on with this film. and i never really knew why i liked it so much. why i held it so close to me. i guess i didn't want to think too deep and take it too seriously since it's, well, "the facebook movie" but the way you wrote about this movie makes me go: "yes. these are the words i've always wanted to say when i think of the social network." it's insane to me how you notice these small things like "a belief of betrayal, when really, that’s not what it is at all." i love love love how you put together this review. it's incredible.
"The thing they’ve created together has destroyed them, but still, so much love exists." I've been trying to put into words myself how beautiful the dynamic between Mark and Eduardo is in this film, to no avail. It truly is so complex and I don't think I can liken it to any other on-screen relationship--be it friendship, family, romance, what have you. It feels like this type of love--where it came from, what it produced and how it still exists as a ghost--is in an entire realm of its own. You put that into words: "And that’s the worst part of it all, if you ask me. The Social Network is this: you could kill me, and I’d still spend my last breath telling you I love you."